Oliver's Birth Journey | Born at 41 weeks + 5 days

Oliver joined us through an unmedicated labor with midwife and doula support at a local birth center in Saint Paul, Minnesota. Despite his many movements and near constant activity in utero, Oliver was not too interested in leaving the womb. His older sister (Rosalyn) was fairly timely in her arrival and was born at 40 weeks 2 days so I assumed (very wrongly) that he'd make his entrance into the world closer to 40 weeks rather than 42 weeks. Oliver ended up needing a little bit of encouragement to get him earth-side, but once he decided to come he came in a hurry! Before I share those details I want to share a bit of the final days of my pregnancy.

Everyday beyond the due date was a struggle for me and the days were increasingly frustrating as I waited for any sign of labor. I woke up each morning exhausted and dismayed to still be pregnant. Minnesota was also being plagued with record-breaking high temperatures and the air quality was dangerous due to wildfire smoke blown in from out west. My physical discomfort of the pregnancy combined with the heat and poor weather was unbearable.

The wait for labor was one of the toughest mental and emotional challenges I've faced.

Our “birth plan” was less of a plan and more of an educated and informed “wish” for the birth. I know that babies and birth don’t often go as planned so it was important to me to keep it simple and keep an open mind for how it all would play out. I had two “wishes” for this birth: to deliver at the birth center with my midwife team and doula and to avoid consuming castor oil. (I had to drink castor oil for Rosalyn’s birth and had no desire to repeat that—more on this later) In order to deliver at the birth center as planned, I would need to be in active labor by 42 weeks or I’d have to transfer to a hospital for an induction. So, when we reached the 41 week mark, I was starting to feel anxious about our “birth plan” not working out. At the 41 week appointment, we had a biophysical profile and non-stress test to ensure that baby and placenta were functioning properly. Everything checked out and baby was perfect. I left the prenatal appointment reassured of the health of baby, but feeling completely defeated.

I was very emotional leaving the appointment and there were tears in the car ride home. I knew this baby had to come soon, but was struggling with the fact that I had no control how soon and was anxious about our plan not working out.

Unfortunately, by 41+4 I still had zero signs of labor. At this point, I was hopeless that this baby would ever budge and we were just 3 short days away from the 42 week mark. By this point I’d tried all the at-home labor induction techniques (bouncing on a ball, spicy food, sex, nipple stimulation, walking, etc). I even mowed/weed-whipped our entire yard to encourage baby to budge. The possibility of a hospital transfer felt inevitable.

I had another appointment with my midwife that afternoon. We did another non-stress test which again showed the baby was healthy. I also opted for a cervical check, and though I was barely 1 cm dilated, baby was very low, and my cervix was very soft. After discussing options with the midwives we decided to try a cervical balloon/catheter to help my cervix dilate further. Placement of the catheter was definitely not pleasant, but I would describe it as strong discomfort rather than pain. After the catheter was placed we discussed additional options for the following day if labor did not begin spontaneously. It was recommended that we could either break my water or I could try a castor oil smoothie. Due to my GBS positive status and my desire to avoid antibiotics, I was not interested in having my water broken and risk multiple doses of antibiotics. During this discussion with the midwives and my husband (Zachary), I became very overwhelmed and emotional by my limited options and the anxiety of putting my body through these interventions to induce labor.

In the end, we decided that the plan was if I didn't go into labor overnight, I'd take a castor oil smoothie the next morning. I am no stranger to the effects of the castor oil smoothie as it was something I had to experience with Rosalyn’s birth. It was not something I was looking forward to, but I’d surrendered to the fact that I didn’t have time or many options so I was willing to try. I walked out of the appointment feeling even more hopeless and disappointed than when I walked in.

Zachary and I went home to relax (as much as we could with a busy two year old at home). I had instructions to remove the catheter after 12 hours if it did not fall out on it's own. After only 3 hours, it fell out! I felt reassured that it had worked and I was now further dilated. We hoped for the best overnight that labor would start, but it was an uneventful night. I only experienced a handful of sporadic and mild contractions overnight. I woke up early the next morning filled with disappointment and made a root beer float/castor oil concoction. I knew I would not be able to stomach the nectar juice and almond butter recipe I had taken during my pregnancy with Rosalyn so I tried a new version with the root beer and ice cream. It was equally nasty, but I chugged it down at 530 am. I was immediately nauseous. Zachary and I hung out for about an hour before Rosalyn woke up. We were both defeated and not optimistic that the castor oil would work.

I was not feeling anything except nausea and fatigue so around 8 am I sent Zachary and Rosalyn to the park a few blocks away so I could rest. Within a few minutes after they left I started having contractions. The contractions from the start were about 45 seconds long and consistently coming every 5-8 minutes. They weren't very strong so I laid down to rest. By 830 am they were increasing in intensity and I texted Zachary to call his mom and ask her to come to our house within an hour or two. She was our backup care for Rosalyn. I figured I would labor like this for at least another hour and it was manageable so I didn’t want company at the house yet. I also contacted our doula and asked her to get ready and be on standby for the next hour or two. Lastly, I called the midwives at the birth center and they agreed it was a good plan to continue to labor at home for a little bit and check in in an hour. As soon as I hung up with the midwife, Zachary and Rosalyn came home from the park and my contractions suddenly got very strong.

Zachary took one look at me and knew I was in active labor. He knew it was “go time” even though I wasn't quite sure yet. I was shocked that things had progressed so quickly, but was also in the point of labor where I wasn’t able to think clearly or articulate well.

While I endured intense contractions that were coming one top of one another, Zachary called his mom and told her to get to the house ASAP. He also called the doula and told her to come ASAP. He spoke with the midwife and she agreed that we should head to the birth center. While we waited for my MIL to arrive, I labored mostly alone leaning over a yoga ball while he managed Rosalyn.

Finally, my MIL arrived a little before 10 am. Zachary called our doula again and told her to reroute directly to the birth center and not come to our house at all. I could not make it down the stairs or out the door without having several contractions. Eventually, I got into the car and we took the longest 10 minute drive of my life. There was yelling and swearing in the car ride.

We arrived at the birth center around 10 am and we were put in the birth suite and waited a few minutes for the midwife and our doula to arrive. Zachary told me later that he was getting very impatient and almost went out to the front desk to yell for a midwife because he knew I was close to pushing and no one was there. At this point I was fully entranced in labor and not able to make decisions about positioning so I climbed up onto the bed and labored on all fours while we waited. Eventually, everyone made it to the room and it was either the midwife or our doula suggested the birth tub. I thought that sounded good so I was helped into the tub.

The tub truly is the “midwife's epidural”. I was able to actually find a small amount of rest and was able to relax my body slightly. The contractions had been very intense and I was really feeling them in my lower back and radiating in my hips and thighs. The water helped soothe the intensity.

After I was settled into the tub, the midwife asked to check my cervix and baby's position. Baby's head was about half of a finger away from crowning. I reached up and felt his head. I remember feeling exhausted and that I was not going to be able to continue for much longer.

I remember asking if I was in transition and the midwife and doula chuckled and said I was well beyond transition and that I’d be holding a baby within the hour. I was shocked by this because my logical brain couldn’t comprehend the speed of this labor.

After a few minutes and a couple of big pushes baby was crowning. It was only a few more pushes and then his head was born. Once his head was born, my contractions slowed and because his head was still underwater and his body not yet born the midwife wanted me to get into a runner's lunge and then push to birth the rest of the body. It was awful to move into this position, but I did it and in one push the rest of his body was born.

Zachary caught him and handed him to me. I was immediately brought back to reality. I felt so much relief finally holding him. He was very blue and moving around, but not yet breathing. At this point I was sitting in the tub and surrounded by the midwife, birth assistants, and nurses. There was a bit of commotion at this time.

Baby wasn't breathing so they used a mask to give him oxygen. I was still riding the birth high and not stressed at all, but I could sense the tension in the room.

Zachary later shared with me that it was very traumatic and stressful at that moment for him and he began to panic until our doula stepped in and calmed him. Eventually, Oliver took a big breath and cried out. I was helped to the bed where I delivered the placenta while snuggling our new baby boy.

Though I did not labor or push long, it was an extremely intense and exhausting birth—much more so than Rosalyn’s birth. During this labor I was very vocal and yelled a lot. The "ring of fire" was also much more intense this time. In total, the labor itself was less than 3 hours long and I probably only pushed for 10-15 minutes. We were at the birth center less than 45 minutes before Oliver was born. Despite the speed of this labor and Oliver’s large size, I did not have any tears requiring stitches. However, recovery has been much harder on me than with Rosalyn.

Ultimately, I am so grateful to have a positive birth experience. Although I had to endure the effects of the dreaded castor oil, it was worth it to be able to deliver at the birth center surrounded by a team I knew and trusted. I am so grateful to have a had a positive birth experience that left me feeling empowered and strong. I am able to look back at the pregnancy, labor, and birth with gratitude and awe in my ability to grow, birth, and nourish another life. Birth is a wild and magical ride.

And having experienced another birth and becoming a parent again has only reaffirmed to me why I started this business.