Rosalyn’s Birth Journey | Born at 40 weeks + 2 days

In honor of Rosalyn’s THIRD birthday (how do I have a 3 year old?!) I decided to formally write out her birth story and share it here. I love reading and talking about birth stories so I hope you enjoy!

Rosalyn’s “due date” was on a Wednesday in late June. I was working at the hospital that day and was overall in a bad mood. I was very desperate to have this baby. This pregnancy had been unplanned and during the course of it I had experienced an incredible amount of stress and major life changes. I was doubtful of my ability to be a parent and the waiting for another big life change to happen was unbearable. I didn’t feel a connection to this baby and was carrying the stress and guilt of that.

I needed this pregnancy to be over so that I could finally embark on this scary and unknown phase of new parenthood. I was terrified and this in between phase of waiting was insufferable.

Because of thorough childbirth education, I knew the chances of this baby being born on the due date were very slim and wanted to distract myself. I took a half day at work and left around noon to spend the day with my husband (Zachary).

Zachary was on summer break from teaching and had been so bored waiting for this baby to arrive. Everyday he was tackling home improvement projects on our fixer upper home in effort to distract himself. So it was nice to take a half day to spend some time together. Being the amazing partner he is he only wanted to do what I wanted. I couldn’t just sit around and was determined to try everything to get this baby moving. We started by taking our small dog to a local park to walk. We walked there until the summer heat became unbearable for me and the dog. I had started to feel some discomfort across my belly at regular intervals and pain down low in my pelvis, but believed it was just exhaustion and Braxton Hicks. We came home, quickly changed and then headed to the Mall of America. I was not interested in shopping, but I wanted to walk and the cool air conditioning was the draw. We walked and walked and walked. I think we walked each level twice starting on the first level and working our way up. By the time we were on the third level I was feeling really uncomfortable and having belly tightening every 5 minutes for 30 seconds or so.

I thought I was just having Braxton Hicks, but in hindsight this was definitely early labor. I was trying not to let on that I was uncomfortable and continued to keep walking.

Eventually, I couldn’t hide it anymore and I was extremely crabby so we walked back to the car and started driving home. The drive home was awful. I was still having contractions and every bump was unbearable. Once we got home, I immediately laid down and drank some water. I didn’t think we needed to call the birth center, but Zachary called anyway and was told that it was likely prodromal labor and that this could last days or weeks. He was pretty nervous to tell me this because he knew I would not cope if I heard it could be weeks like this! After an hour of rest the contractions subsided in intensity and I felt much better. I had an acupuncture appointment that evening so I rested until then.

Zachary drove me to the acupuncture appointment with Jess, who is beyond amazing and I saw her regularly for the entire pregnancy. If you’re local to the Twin Cities and somewhere in your fertility journey go see her! I explained what had been going on and she did her pulse readings and said that my body was definitely very close to labor. I told her to work all her magic and get this baby moving! I didn’t have any contractions while I was receiving the acupuncture so it was a nice relief to just lay there. After the acupuncture I was actually feeling great so we went to get some spicy takeout for dinner. Again, I was pulling out all the stops to get this baby moving. We brought that home and ate.

After dinner it was around 8pm and I was ready to wind down for bed so I went upstairs to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and get ready for sleep. Zachary wanted to stay up and watch the 2019 Democratic Primary Debate so he stayed downstairs. (He’s a politics junky so there is no forgetting this detail!)

I used the toilet and after standing up I felt a small pop and huge gush of water followed. I cautiously called down to Zachary and said “I think my water just broke?”

He immediately came upstairs and asked if I just peed and I said I didn’t think so because it keeps coming out. I think my water probably broke because the magic Jess worked with her acupuncture. Zachary again called the birth center and the midwives recommended that we come in to check if it was truly amniotic fluid. So, we went into the birth center and confirmed that my water had broken.

At this point, I wasn’t having regular contractions and was overall feeling normal and just very pregnant. I had however tested GBS positive so I had to make a decision on receiving antibiotics. In 2018, I wasn’t as educated or informed as I am now so I was planning to do antibiotics. We were given the option to wait a few hours and see if labor progressed quickly or start antibiotics immediately. I remember debating this a lot in the room. It was difficult choice because I didn’t feel good about taking antibiotics, but I was also nervous about not taking. Ultimately, we decided to start an IV for the antibiotics. I was now required to get a dose of medication every 8 hours.

The antibiotics ended up being one of the worst parts of this birth story.

I informed Denika, our doula, what was going on and she said she was happy to come to our home, but I said we were okay for now. We went home and rested. I slept okay and through most of the mild and inconsistent contractions during the night. 8 hours later we were back at the birth center and I got a second dose of antibiotics. This was early in the morning on Thursday. They also performed an NST and all looked well.

I denied a cervical check because I knew that would not help my mental state.

Denika checked in with us on Thursday and I didn’t feel like we needed her since nothing was happening but I did let her know my mental health was struggling. Thursday was an extremely challenging day. By the afternoon I had very few contractions and the ones that I did were weak and with no pattern. Mentally, I was a wreck. I wanted this baby out but didn’t feel it was happening EVER. Zachary tried to distract me all day with good food, games, neighborhood walks, and ridiculous reality tv. It was a brutally long day. In the late afternoon/evening we headed back to the birth center for the THIRD dose of IV antibiotics.

I had an emotional meltdown with the midwife and was truly at a breaking point.

I was tired of the antibiotics, stressed about when this baby was going to come, and was getting worried I’d need to transfer to the hospital. The birth center’s policy required that I be in active labor within 48 hours of the water breaking and because things had stalled so much on Thursday I was worried. I did NOT want a hospital birth because I knew I would not feel safe or comfortable there.

After my meltdown, Zachary and the midwife calmed me down and we came up with a plan. If labor did not pick up overnight on Thursday, we’d return to the birth center at 3:30am for another dose of antibiotics. After that we’d go home and rest and I would drink a castor oil smoothie on Friday morning. I felt okay about this plan so Zachary dropped me off at home and then ran to the store to gather the implements for the smoothie I’d drink the next morning.

I had zero contractions overnight so at 3:30am we went back to the birth center. I was feeling pretty defeated at this point, but it was also the point I stopped trying to control the situation and was finally accepting this was our situation.

I figured if I needed to drink a gross castor oil smoothie that was going to make me sick I might as well have greasy breakfast, too. So, Zachary took us through the McDonald’s drive through around 4:30am and we ate breakfast sandwiches, hashbrowns, and orange juice.

We don’t typically do fast food so this was definitely a unique decision. However, this McDonald’s breakfast before the castor oil smoothie ended up being such a special memory for us and one that I remember so fondly.

Once back at home, Zachary prepared the smoothie and I drank it around 5am. Absolutely disgusting and without a doubt one of the worst things I’ve ever consumed. I decided that it was wise to rest so we both went back to bed. I couldn’t really sleep and mostly tossed and turned. Around 8:30am, I started to feel contractions. I tried to lay and rest, but eventually had to use the bathroom (diarrhea) and I had to move my body. I also decided to take a shower.

By the time I was done with my shower I was definitely in active labor. I was not timing contractions, but it was difficult to get in and out of the tub and clothes.

Zachary let the birth center know and asked the doula to come. This is where things start to get fuzzy because I was definitely in active labor. I think the doula arrived around 10-10:30am. I was struggling through contractions and very uncomfortable. She was amazing in reminding us of positions to try. She was just also so calm and reassuring which Zachary needed. Our coffee pot was broken and Zachary needed caffeine. I think the doula stayed with me while Zachary left briefly and grabbed coffee. He returned and helped with rebozo and hip compressions. I think around 12pm it was clearly time to head to the birth center. The drive was BRUTAL. I think I swore at Zachary a lot.

Once at the birth center I remember the agonizing walk up the ramp and into the center. I remember seeing the friendly receptionist (who I love) and a few pregnant people in the waiting room. Since it was middle of the day there was a lot of action. It was also the middle of a baby boom and I think the birthing suites had been constantly in use for a couple days. We got into the birthing suite and I sat on the couch and then kneeled on the ground and leaned onto it. I needed another dose of antibiotic (number FIVE!) so we did that and I was so uncomfortable the entire time.

I was fully in “labor-land” at this point. The doula suggested a few position changes and I tried laying in the bed with the peanut ball and hated it. It was awful.

Next we tried the tub and it was heaven. Our primary doula had to leave for an hour to take an exam so her backup came. It’s a little fuzzy who was there when, but I know both were present for most of the labor and the actual birth. How lucky was I to get TWO doulas?!

I labored in the tub for probably 2 hours. Honestly, I was very independent and totally immersed in the sensations of the contractions.

I never felt that it was painful, but rather intense and tiring. I was very introspective during all of this and totally lost track of time. This was quite different than the birth of my second baby, who came too fast for me to tap into this space, I think.

The doulas offered cool towels and sips of water. The idea of eating was appalling and I do remember getting really annoyed being asked to eat. I was fully immersed in the experience of birth and I sort of turned off my logical brain and truly tapped into just listening to my body. I did remember a lot of guidance I’d received during the childbirth prep class on relaxing my shoulders, hands, and lips. I tried to keep everything open and loose. This helped a ton.

While I was in the tub, the midwife came in and out of the room a few times to check on how I was doing. Eventually, she came in and told my husband that she knew I was close to pushing and she could tell by the sounds I was making. This was most likely transition.

Soon, I felt the urge to push and did so. I don’t remember how long I pushed, but I really didn’t need guidance. My body knew what to do. Maybe an hour or so of pushing and baby’s head emerged. I finally understood what was meant by “the ring of fire.” I was holding the side of the tub and in a squat position. At this point my contractions had almost stopped. Baby was fine, but there was a nuchal chord and some concern with the head out, but the delay in delivery of the rest of the baby. So the midwife directed me into a deep lunge position, removed the cord, and then assisted in helping the rest of the baby out.

At 3:14pm Zachary caught the baby and handed it to me and asked “What’s her name?” I was immediately brought back to reality and was no longer in “labor land.” The sex of the baby had been a surprise. We had been between two names and when I looked at her I knew her name instantly.

In that moment I knew I was meant to be a mom and this was the first time since I found out I was pregnant that I truly wanted this baby. I know that instant love doesn’t happen for everyone, but it definitely happened for me.

With the cord still attached I was directed to the bed to deliver the placenta. The placenta took awhile to come, but eventually came and it was the sweetest relief to have that out. I was busy snuggling my baby and riding that post-birth high. I was apparently hemorrhaging and I could see a lot of concern on the faces of my midwife, nurse, and birth assistants. I consented to Pitocin and I think I needed two shots. I do have a family history of hemorrhage so this was something I had worried about.

After that, we snuggled and nursed and just enjoyed our time skin to skin in the golden hour. Eventually, I needed to get stitched up because I had second degree tears. Everything was so peaceful and calm. We ordered pizza and ate that. After that we packed up and headed home. We were home by 8pm to sleep in our own bed.

The following days and weeks are a blur like it often is with a new baby. Magical, exhausting, stressful, lonely, but so filled with so much love and wonder.

One of the best aspects of having a doula for me was knowing that there was someone else in my corner who knew what I wanted (and didn’t want) and was there for me 100%. I truthfully, didn’t use my doula(s) that much during birth. They were mostly hands off, but their quiet reassurance and presence made all the difference. I know Zachary felt the same in that the doula was essential, too. I also loved having the opportunity to ask questions and process the birth experience during the early postpartum with her. And to think early on in pregnancy I wasn’t even sure I wanted a doula!

This birth experience changed me in so many ways and is probably the single most important event of my life. This baby made me a mom, but she also showed me my strength and power as a woman.

Without this pregnancy, birth, and baby I’d never have started this business and I’m so grateful for this entire experience. Though labor was unmedicated and largely uncomplicated, my experience through pregnancy and postpartum was complicated and stressful.

I’d never have survived if it wasn’t for the love and support of the amazing birth workers and perinatal professionals who surrounded me. And that is why I do this business. Because all pregnant people and new parents deserve informed, supported, and nourishing care. I truly believe this is how we heal our communities and families.